Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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