i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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