apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize