me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Alive.
So much puke
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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