so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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