well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
