i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
