Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
