Duck Duck Cougar?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
