Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm just crazy horny about you
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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