Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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