You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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