you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
