I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
