even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
