dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
