sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
