I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
