just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
