Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
