im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
