So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize