if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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