I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
