you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
