First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
