I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
