i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
