When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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