my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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