Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
not ubering you a puppy
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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