There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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