she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
