I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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