i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
