I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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