The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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