Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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