i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
