I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
