that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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