I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
