Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
