You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
