i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
