Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
PANTIES FOUND
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