How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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