Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
