pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
