Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize