hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
