Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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