but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just gargled with NyQuil
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
