You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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