new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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