Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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