So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
