they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
