before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
