Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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